When Good Girls Go Bad (A BLEACH CRACKFIC)
by KissesForDays
Summary: What happens when the arrancar arc is put on hold for about 40 chapters and Ichigo, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Uryu, Toshiro, and Orihime have nothing to do? Well...it gets nuts. WARNING! BLEACH CRACKFIC, MAJOR OOC


**I DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR IT'S CHARACTERS!...even though I reallllllyyy wish I could.**

**Please read and review :3 And I also apologize for my horrible writing, it was 6am when I did this...because I don't sleep.. O.o Swag? NO! Fuck swag...ugh...LOL kk, byee 3**

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"Stop! Don't touch me there! That is… my private square!" Ulquiorra stuck his hand out in a determined motion. Attempting to stop Uryu's grabby hands.

"Whaaaaaa?"

"You heard me. This right here_" Ulquiorra motioned to his waist and bellow "_is my private square!"

"But Ulqui-bat!" Uryu whined, before once again attempting to grab at Ulquiorra's crotch.

"Forget it Uryu… you have to have more of a back story with the guy before you can even attempt 'grabby hands.'" Ichigo motioned his hands Ulquiorra's way, imitating the now disappointed Uryu.

"Fine!... Hmmm… Ohhhh Grimmjowwwwww!"

"What?! Oh no… no way in fucking hell is that greasy haired freak getting any of this pizzaz!"

Silence.

"Honestly Sexta, pizzaz?" Ulquiorra scoffed before turning away, looking down at the vast desert inside Las Noches.

"Jealous Ulqui-bat?" Grimmjow taunted.

Ulquiorra turned around, glaring emerald daggers at Grimmjow. Before he could respond, tears started to well up in his eyes, his black upper lip quivering, as he tried to choke back any emotions he could possibly be feeling.

"GRIMMJOW! YOU KNOW THAT ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT!"

"I do? Hmm…must have slipped my mind.." Grimmjow only winked before attempting to cleverly dodge Uryu's lunging grope. Grimmjow's eyes went wide, feeling a tightened grip on his crotch. He yanked his body to the side, sending the small body of Uryu, flying off the side of the large red pillar they had all been standing on.

"Worth itttttttt!" Uryu shouted, as he most certainly fell to his doom.

"DA' FUCK GRIMMJOW!" Ichigo scolded. "You could have at least let me prepare the fucking camera."

"Huh? Oh my bad Berry, next time kay'?"

Ichigo froze, anger coursing through his being.

"Did you just call me….Berry?"

"So what if I did?"

Before Grimmjow could react, Ichigo had raised his sword and was already growling the release_ "GETSUGA TENSHOU!" A red beam of spiritual pressure coursed from the tip of the sword.

"Soooo prettyyyyyy" Ulquiorra gapped at the light, obviously lost in the beauty.

"Aha! I've got you now pussy cat!" Ichigo yelled, and that had done it for Grimmjow.

No one calls him pussy cat; it was like an unspoken, yet very prominent law in Hueco Mundo.

"Goddammit, I need an agent" muttered Grimmjow.

Ichigo had made his way up to Grimmjow, sword in hand, he thrust the blade overtop Grimmjow's head. Expecting the worst, Grimmjow pulled his Zanpakuto, preparing Pantera.

Ichigo started laughing wildly as he began spinning the glowing blade above the sixth espada's head. Randomly, berries of all sorts came falling from the red light, oozing with jammy goodness. Grimmjow looked as if he was about to die of laughter, and you could almost see the ego drain from Ichigo's face.

"ONCE A BERRY ALWAYS A BERRY!" Grimmjow mocked, twirling around on one foot, doing his 'lolyousuck' dance.

"Now_" Grimmjow had instantly stopped twirling, his demeanour changed to that of Kenpachi's. He rested his zanpakuto out in a horizontal line before him, placing his nails on the blade itself. In one swift motion he scrapped his long, cat like nails along the metal.

"Grind. PANTERA!"

"AHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Grimmjow was now covered in a cloud of smoke (blue smoke, let's not neglect his favourite colour). Ichigo was now sitting on the floor, tears falling from his eyes.

"Not fair not fair not fair!" He screamed, slamming his zanpakuto into the hard surface of the red pillar.

"KUROSAKI!"

This caught Ichigo's attention, bringing him out of his temper tantrum. Almost instantly his watery eyes focused on a very shiny entity before him. Pupils now wide, Ichigo doubled over in laughter. He could feel the muscles in his stomach clench tighter then they even have before, as his eyes once again welled with tears, but tears of laughter.

Grimmjow was beside himself, not understanding what was going on. Huffing, he turned towards Ulquiorra who had a face that said 'I'm trying not to laugh but you're making it really hard'.

"WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?! HOW ARE YOU NOT TREMBLING AT THE SIGHT OF MY RELEASE STATE!?"

Ulquiorra doubled over in laughter, tears beginning to well up in his eyes; the same as Ichigo's.

"You might want to look at yourself…" came the voice of Toshiro. In his bankai state, large ice wings, as well as the head and mouth of an ice dragon, surrounded his body. He was slowly floating behind Grimmjow. With a flick of his wrist, a small amount of water shot out towards the 6th Espada, landing right in front of him, midair. The water began to expand, before freezing in place, creating a small ice mirror.

"I'm….I'm…"

"A unicorn.." Toshiro stated blankly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"HA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT LETTING ME HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU KITTY!"

Uryu's voice was behind Grimmjow and Toshiro; he was on a large whale like stingray that was pale green in colour, and large as fuck! (That's what she said Q_Q)

"Why you little!" Grimmjow said as he aimed his now beautifully sparkly horn towards Uryu, blasting a rainbow Cero his way. Uryu was no match for the awesome power, therefore falling back off of Minazuki and once again to his doom.

Ulquiorra had finished his laughing fit and way now sitting contently with some dill pickle flavoured popcorn, watching the show.

"GIMME SOME WARDEN!" Orihime screamed from behind him, nearly causing him to throw the bag up in the air, and scream bloody mary.

"WOMAN! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Oh…sorry Ulquiorra, I didn't intend to scare you…I only intended…to killllll you.." And with that Orihime took a small blade she had concealed (don't ask where) and placed it swiftly to Ulquiorra's neck, slitting his throat. She watched as the body fell onto her lap, eyes dead and limbs limp. Now overly happy she took what remained of the popcorn bag, diving her hand into the salty flavoured goodness, stuffing handfuls at a time into her mouth, ignoring the concerned looks she got from Ichigo, Toshiro, and Grimmjow.

"Wha_" She asked, with a muffled tone.

Holding her hand out towards the others, she offered popcorn everyone's way, sadly getting denial from all of them.

"Fine then…if you won't rejoice in the popped corn of dilled pickle with me…you can all DIE!"

Ichigo, Toshiro and Unicorn Grimmjow looked her way. She gave them all a sudden death glare before shooting out of her position, picking up Ulquiorra's ankles with her hands. She first ran towards Ichigo, batting him off the ledge of the red pillar to fall to his doom. Second she ran after Unicorn Grimmjow, he was a little more prepared and blocked her first attack. Huffing from the effort of swinging Ulquiorra's body, she simply picked up the dead man's finger, aiming it at Grimmjow. A cero started to materialize before it, and it quickly shot at Grimmjow, causing him to fly off the edge and to his 'possible doom', who knows. Unicorns are pretty crazy.

"Oh hehe, what do ya know. Works just like Medusa.."

Ulquiorra woke from his random death, glaring at Orihime.

"I resent that." He said in a stoic tone.

"Shut up fuzzy flying creature.." Orihime dug a long finger into the wound on Ulquiorra's neck, poking and prodding around until the Cuarto passed out once again.

She returned her attention to Toshiro, who already had his hands up in surrender mode.

"Okay Orihime..no need to go there..I'll eat the popcorn."

Orihime instantly went from stone cold killer to bubbly nuisance. She giggled as Toshiro flew over to the top of the red pillar, digging his hand into the presented bag of dill pickle popcorn.

"This is really tasty Orihime!" He exclaimed.

Both Toshiro and Orihime sat down, digging into the bag of popcorn, gnawing viciously at each handful that they presented each other's mouths with.

Before Orihime could delve into the last delicious handful of popcorn, an enormous green cero came blasting towards both her and Toshiro. Luckily, Orihime had Nel in her pocket, and pulled her out just at the right time to absorb the cero, firing back at Ulquiorra with her special move. He instantly dropped to the floor, stars and birds hovering above his head.

"YAY! NEL-SAN SAVED THE DAY!" Orihime jumped with joy, squeezing Nel before she heard the little girl speak.

"Nel says breaks over get back to work!"

Orihime scowled as she shoved the small girl into her pocket.

"Fine. But don't expect bubbly Orihime…that one's gone. I am now…cold assassin murder hater devilhime…the 6th."

Toshiro looked to Orihime, before face palming, and getting his arm stuck to his face. Orihime giggled innocently before skipping off, jumping off the edge of the red pillar, leaving Toshiro to fend for his face and his pride.

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**Dawwww, poor lil'shiro hahahaha. I wonder what Orihime is gonna get herself into now...oh jeeze. Well..thanks for reading! I hope ya liked it and if you would be so kind to review I would love you forever 3 Byeeeee**


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